Ruthi needed to go to the local Emergency Room yesterday. It turned out to be nothing at all serious but we wanted to be sure and check it out. Anyway, the purpose of this post is to discuss the lack of dignity we had to face. First off, we were a bit nervous / scared because on the way to the ER we didn’t know the verdict would be “no problem”. But we needed to discuss and determine how we would present ourselves so that if it did turn out SERIOUS, Boots would be able to visit and be included in any health discussions / decisions. Sure we have the appropriate paperwork (in our safe) that gives each of us medical power of attorney for the other. But this is NOW, RIGHT NOW in TEXAS of all places.
Should we be truthful and say we are partners or lie and say we are sisters??? This isn’t about marriage because neither Boots nor Ruthi are interested in that institution for themselves but it is about human dignity. It is less than prideful to have to lie to ensure access for your partner of over 27 years. You know back in Oregon when Boots had to go to the ER and eventually be hospitalized the question of relationship never entered our minds. We were truthful and treated with dignity. But in Texas we couldn’t be sure. So, Ruthi lied and said that Sandra H OBrien (Boots’ legal name) was her sister. Never mind that they don’t look alike or even more don’t talk alike – Ruthi is a Yankee and Boots is a Southern Belle.
Most of the time Ruthi and Boots play with the people they run into that wonder about their “husband”. Like when Ruthi was emptying the black water (read sewerage here for non-RVers), a couple (man and woman) came by and told her that was her husband’s job. Ruthi’s laughing reply was she didn’t have a “husband” but a “wife”. That couple didn’t come by again. Or, if they did, they never talked to us.
Then the time we needed to get the truck towed out of the RV park to Ford. Since the truck was park nose in, it was necessary to push it out into the lane so that the tow operator could get the truck onto his rig. He asked Boots if her “husband” could come out and help push. Again, the reply was she didn’t have a “husband” but a “wife”. The tow operator said ok, can she help push, too?
Remember, not everyone can let us have simple human dignity because we live differently than them. Marriage is a whole other civil right discussion, we just want to be able to tell the truth with dignity.
